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I Really Want a Coke Stop
(Please sing along to “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls)
I’ll tell you what I want
What I really really want
So tell me what you want
What you really really want
I want a coke
I want a coke
I want a coke
I want a coke
I really really really want a coke stop right now
If you want to get to Khartoum
You’ve got to stop for a coke
Making time’s for sociopaths
Coke is for your friends
If you want to get to Khartoum
Forget about coffee and tea
It’s ******* hot outside
And you’ll only need to pee
If you want to get to Khartoum
You’re going to need E numbers
The water gives you diarrhoea
And the Fanta makes you hurl
If you want to get to Khartoum
Coke’s the only way
Beer is against the law
And so is being gay
So what you think about that
It’s like the 1920’s
Damn you Sharia Law
I’m thirsty
I’m thirsty
So don’t go wasting
No precious time
Get off at the Coke stop
And we’ll have a gay old time
I’ll tell you what I want
What I really really want
So tell me what you want
What you really really want
I want a coke
I want a coke
I want a coke
I want a coke
I really really really want a coke stop right now
– Ben Evans, 2015 Tour d’Afrique Bicycle Expedition
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